27 Petty Exes Who Will Make You Glad You’re Single


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Absolutely the monster:

“My ex-husband gave me again my KitchenAid mixer however saved all of the attachments.”



The Jewish ex who stole Christmas:

My ex refused to provide me again my Christmas decorations. He is Jewish.”



The Bitmoji ruiner:

“My ex modified the passwords to my Snapchat, ruined my Bitmoji, and proceeded to dam each man on my account.”



The man you are* by no means getting over:

“After I broke up with my first highschool boyfriend, he left messages on my desk with misspelled phrases and incorrect grammar, understanding how irritated I’d be, because it was (and nonetheless is) one among my greatest pet peeves.”



The occasion pooper:

“In school, my boyfriend dumped me two days earlier than my birthday. Little did he know that his associates had been throwing an enormous shock occasion for me at his home. He sulked in his room the entire time and did not come out.



The left sock burglar:

“My boyfriend’s ex knew how a lot he liked these costly Nike socks which might be designed particularly for every foot and labeled with an L and R. After they broke up, she stole all his left socks.



The ex who simply needed to remain associates:

“My ex saved texting me desirous to ‘be associates’. I already informed him that I would wish extra time. After a month of me not responding, he despatched me a textual content with a hyperlink to the track ‘Say One thing (I am Giving Up On You)’.



The teddy bear skinner:

“My boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend lower open an outsized panda bear he had gotten her, took out all of the stuffing, and wore the pores and skin of the bear.



The pyromaniac:

“My ex despatched me a 13-minute lengthy video of him setting fireplace to every part of mine I left at his residence. He used gasoline and every part.”



The parting present giver:

“After we broke up, he was a senior and I used to be a junior. I didn’t take it effectively and cried fairly closely after we had the speak. Our highschool had a ‘Senior Will’, the place seniors may present issues like ‘well being’ and ‘prosperity’ to their lower-classmen associates. My ex gifted me a field of fucking tissues.



The Barbie lady:

“After I broke up with my girlfriend, she logged into my Netflix account and gave 5 stars to a bunch of Barbie motion pictures and tousled all my scores.”



The cheesy ex:

“One in every of my boyfriend’s exes left hundreds of brass tacks, level up, throughout his residence.



The erectile dysfunction enabler:

“After a yr of marriage, I came upon that my husband had been dishonest on me. So, whereas he was shifting out, I poured out his bottle of liquid Cialis and refilled it with water.



The scorned thespian:

My performing main ex WROTE and PERFORMED a monologue for sophistication during which he described in specific, gory element how he cheated on me a number of instances and the way a lot he loved it. Apparently it was so vulgar that, when he was completed, a lady stated, ‘You actually should not be allowed to speak to girls.'”



The ex who acquired even: ¯_(ツ)_/¯

“My ex slept with my finest buddy, so I slept along with his finest buddy.



The ex who was *clearly* a hoarder:

“After we broke up, my ex returned EVERYTHING. That included 5 bobby pins, three Capri Suns, one bag of popcorn, and a tiny pretend flower I had in my hair on one among our first dates.”



The John Tucker Should Die recreator:

“Once I came upon my boyfriend on the time was dishonest on me, I messaged the lady he was dishonest with and requested her to return over to inform me what was occurring. Later, I referred to as him and requested if we may meet up and speak. When he came to visit, I had the lady come across the nook with me to greet him. His face was priceless!”



The ex who’s actually Elle Woods:

I utilized to medical faculty after my ex tried and failed simply to show I used to be the neatest. I acquired in!”




My ex stole my DIDGERIDOO! I acquired it from Australia after I was in highschool and I am nonetheless pissed about it.”


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