68- year-old who ‘unretired’ shares his tricks to living a delighted, regret-free life

At completion of 2015, I felt stuck. After a near-death experience, I needed to stop my task and retire early to prioritize my health.

My health enhanced, however the rest of my life did not. I felt bored and purposeless in retirement, and my relationships suffered. I began to question, “Is this all there is?”

In search of responses, I registered for a 30- day quiet retreat inSt Beuno’s, a previous Jesuit seminary in North Wales that’s now a spiritual retreat center.

At initially, costs 30 days in silence was more difficult than I believed. But I was ultimately able to contemplate how to live a delighted, regret-free life.

Here are 4 lessons I took house with me:

Before the retreat, I was a control freak. The concept of “letting go” in any part of my life ran out the concern.

But throughout a workout at St Bueno’s, I was asked to think of what I genuinely had control over. I understood that simply one unexpected occasion might send my life into mayhem. I reviewed just how much time I invested stressing over results that I could not anticipate or manage.

Now, when I desire something excellent to take place, I picture that it has actually currently taken place and feel grateful for it. This state of mind assists me move on. By concentrating on taking the next actions, I am no longer concentrating on the result.

Research has shown that gratitude blocks toxic emotions like envy and regret, reduces stress, and improves happiness.

During the retreat, I was in a challenging period of my life. At one point, I was asked to reflect on all the homes I had lived in, and what good and bad things happened there.

It dawned on me that no opportunity in my life could have come about without the preceding crisis, so I should appreciate every moment.

Try this exercise: Write down all the great times in your life, or the moments you are most proud of. Then, next to it, list the difficult moment that gave you the skills or created the opportunity to achieve those goals.

Money always came first in my career. I never stopped to ask questions like, “What work should I do based on my interests and feelings?”

During the retreat, though, I had nothing to think about but my feelings.

Three weeks in, I broke down weeping thinking about all the people I had hurt. But on the last day, the tears came from a place of joy and love. I realized that my true fear was hurting others, and that my passion was helping people.

In the years after the retreat, I chose to unretire and serve retirees with my coaching business.

Ask yourself: “What am I most afraid of? What activity do I lose all sense of time in?” Try answering these questions five times, and each time provide a different response. The answers might surprise you.

For 60 years, I constructed a persona based on what my parents, teachers, employers, partners and friends wanted.

I never thought about who I was beyond those external pressures. I had spent decades lost and ashamed of who I really was.

Think about whether there’s something about yourself that you hide from the world. Try to embrace that thing. For me, it was gentleness and understanding that changed my life.

George Jerjian is the author of “Dare to Discover Your Purpose: Retire, Refire, Rewire.” An Emmy-award-winning producer and author of 10 books, he earned his business degree from Bradford University in England and a master’s degree in Journalism from New York University. Follow him on Twitter @GeorgeJerjian

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