Another day, another four-second video clip of US President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump from which we can definitively judge the state of their relationship.
Because, as we all know, marriage counselling is just watching brief out-of-context clips of people you don’t know interacting in foreign, high-stress situations.
This time, Don and Mel were landing in Israel when the President was caught on tape reaching out a hand (his left, the record shows) for his wife to hold. However, Melania appears to reject the hand, slapping it out of the way.
But did she slap the hand, or was she simply just not paying attention and swinging her hand in line with her leg as she had done for the rest of the pair’s walk from Air Force One? Don’t be ridiculous: Donald’s hand did not contain signed divorce papers and she was not interested in engaging with it until it did. Fact. Accurate, alternative fact.
Because Don’s third marriage is on the rocks, sheeple. Like the cocktails at Mar-a-Lago. Just ask one of the body language experts who surface every time one of these videos appear online.
Don’t believe me? Consider this compelling evidence and prolong the amount of time before we must all return to the bountiful legitimate criticism of Trump’s administration. (Sad!)
Incident: The RNC ‘hug’
At the Republican National Convention last year, Trump was called out for hugging Melania at a suspiciously impersonal distance.
What the experts said: “There was no heart-to-heart contact. There was no pelvis-to-pelvis contact. That was really odd. There was no real warmth.” (Us Weekly)
What it means: It is impossible to show true affection unless you and your partner’s respective surgeons facilitate the physical touching of your hearts. Also, their marriage is in trouble.
Incident: The Inauguration car exit
It was noted that the then soon-to-be President exited his car and shook outgoing President Barack Obama’s hand before waiting for his wife to exit the car and join them.
What the experts said: “If you didn’t know that they were married, you wouldn’t know that they are married.” (Mic)
What it means: It’s pretty hard to tell if people are married to each other unless they tell you, or they have those “Mr & Mrs” pillows in their house. Just watching them exit a car won’t cut it. Also, their marriage is in trouble.
Incident: The Inauguration dance
Later on in the day, the Trumps were pretty bad at dancing.
What it means: Old men can’t dance. Also, their marriage is in trouble.
Incident: The Florida shudder
Melania Trump was observed to shudder when her husband touched her as they stood onstage at a rally in February.
What the experts said: “Melania probably needed her husband in sight to offer approval signals but that pat on the arm must have felt as though it came from nowhere and could as easily have felt like a message to get on with it as a sign of warmth and support.” (The Mirror)
What it means: People can be surprised when you touch them from behind. Nervous people, about to give a speech to a large crowd, moreso. Also, their marriage is in trouble.
Incident: The hand-hold rejection
Which brings us to the present day, and that slap-away.
What it means: People generally don’t have great reaction times to moving objects below their eyeline while wearing dark glasses.
Also, their marriage is in trouble.