Of all the softball questions Kristian Nairn (aka Hodor) tossed at his former Game of Thrones during Friday’s panel at Comic-Con International, the one that got the best crowd reaction was his query as to whether the cast would pursue more light-hearted material after leaving Westeros. “I’m desperate to do a musical,” replied Gwendoline Christie (Brienne of Tarth), “Someone please put me in a musical.”
Her castmates, ahem, noted the suggestion. Soon, Nathalie Emmanuel (Missandei), Isaac Hempstead Wright (Bran Stark), Liam Cunningham (Davos), and Nairn himself had all co-signed the idea, saying they’d be happy to do some song and dance numbers after spending so much time roving, raiding, and raping in the Seven Kingdoms.
The idea of bringing musical theater to Game of Thrones isn’t entirely novel. Coldplay pulled together the cast for a satire musical a couple years ago, and there are even performances of the parody Game of Thrones: The Musical happening at Comic-Con this weekend. But Cunningham came through with a new idea, which he credited to Tyrion. “[Peter Dinklage] thinks the entire last episode of the show should be a musical,” he said. “Let’s end on a high-kicking number.”
Sound ridiculous? Sure, but if you give it some thought, maybe that direwolf could hunt. We’ve already predicted that the show could end with all of Westeros run by women, but what if they won the Game of Thrones with a little bit of Fosse flare? That could be interesting. Just think: Sansa does her rendition of “Anything You Can Do” from Annie Get Your Gun with Jon Snow! Arya, Ed Sheeran, and the gang taking a page from The Wiz to sing “Ease on Down the Kingsroad”! Will it ever happen? No. But since dreaming is free, we decided to come up with a few numbers we’d like to see in a Game of Thrones finale musical. Take your Starks, everyone!
Song: “Master of the House (Lannister)”
Everyone’s favorite drunk (and Hand of the Queen), Tyrion, puts his own twist on this Les Misérables comic classic to celebrate his return to the Red Keep with his new family in Dany’s crew.
Song: “One (Singular Gestation)”
Performer: Daenerys Targaryen
A Chorus Line focused on the hopes and dreams of would-be Broadway dancers. But what if you simply wanted to dance with dragons—or even mother them? Why, you’d sing about the theoretical pregnancy, that’s what you’d do.
Song: “A Modern Maester General”
Performer: Samwell Tarly
After a long and thankless training period that involved more soup and bodily fluids than one gentle soul should have to bear, Jon Snow’s trusted friend has finally achieved the rank he so desired. In short: in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, he is the very model of a modern Maester-General.
Song: “Angry Inch”
Performer: Theon Greyjoy
Everyone’s favorite torture victim is no longer going by “Reek,” but what Ramsay Bolton did to him cannot be reversed—much like what happened to Hedwig in this Hedwig and the Angry Inch track.
Song: “I’m Still Here”
Performer: Olenna Tyrell
The Queen of Thorns is indestructible—even after losing most of her family. If anyone has earned the right to belt this Follies song out, it’s Olenna Tyrell. Good times and bum times, she’s seen them all.
Song: “Take Me or Leave Me”
Performers: Daenerys Targaryen and Yara Greyjoy
Making fanfic dreams come true, Dany and Yara will finally hook up in the final season of Game of Thrones. But as the finale approaches, lesbian drama has already set in, leading to this heartfelt fight song first popularized by Rent.
Song: ”The Awefull Battle of King’s Landing and Dragonstone”
Performer: Ser Pounce
Thought Tommen’s kitty disappeared when he did? Think again. For his grand exit, Ser Pounce—one of the last remaining Lannisters—reprises this number from Cats to lament his family’s final showdown.