FORMER WWE diva Kaitlyn has revealed she “needed to die” after opening up on her battle towards drug and alcohol.
The ex-divas champion has spoken for the primary time since she checked in for drug detox a yr in the past.
Kaitlyn – actual title Celeste Bonin – was a hugely-popular member of the WWE roster throughout her four-year stint with the corporate from 2010.
She left the corporate in 2014 to give attention to her marriage to bodybuilder PJ Braun – who she divorced in September this yr.
The 31-year-old has suffered with a lot of demons over the past couple of years and battled a lot of addictions.
And now she has shared her story of her ordeal.
Kaitlyn mentioned: “I bear in mind getting out of the hospital feeling like demise, with a medical taper plan of meds and considering, ‘What have I performed to myself?'”
“I celebrated my 30th birthday 5 days later and I bear in mind desirous to die.”
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Kaitlyn spoke about how many individuals find yourself getting hooked on detox medicine, however she opted to show to alcohol to cope with her melancholy and anxiousness.
Though she didn’t reveal what medicine she grew to become hooked on, she insisted that she has been in a position to rebuild her life since facing-up to her issues in an shifting Instagram submit.
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Captioned with an old picture of her posing in front of a mirror, she wrote: “It’s been one year since I checked myself into the hospital for a medical drug detox. (I took this picture in the airport bathroom after flying into LAX. I felt so awful and disgusted with myself but I remember posting it on Instagram with some stupid caption about being happy. I was actually on the last days of the medicine to help me detox and was in a super f****d up place mentally and physically).
“Over the past few years I was in a terrible marriage, an addict and not true to myself. It took me so long to admit I had a problem… and then to admit how serious the problem was. I used to pretend to be and to live a certain way for social media. It’s everyone’s hi-light reel.
“I remember getting out of the hospital feeling like death, with a medical taper plan of meds and thinking “what have I done to myself?”. I celebrated my 30th birthday 5 days later and I remember wanting to die.
“If you’ve ever gone through serious drug detox, you know that you basically go through two detoxes. One from the initial drug(s) and then another one from the medicine used to help you detox.
“A lot of people get hooked on the medicine and remain addicts. For me, I started abusing alcohol to deal with the chemical imbalances, panic attacks and sadness/depression I was experiencing.
“If you know me, you know I had never done a drug in my life leading up to this (besides smoking weed once or twice and freaking the f**k out.) It’s so crazy.
“You can have the world at your fingertips but end up destroying yourself if you’re not careful. I’m fortunate enough to have pulled myself out of it all and was able rebuild my life …but I can seriously empathise with anyone who is, has been, or has a tendency to be an addict (we’re all addicted to something). But it’s about self awareness and humility.
“Never be too proud to ask for help. Be able to wake up and look at yourself in the mirror. Tag someone who needs to read this.”
Kaitlyn became WWE Divas champion in January 2013 when she defeated Eve Torres and held the belt for 153 days.
She lost the title to real-life friend AJ Lee before leaving wrestling to launch her own fitness clothing line called Celestial Bodiez.
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