If Quentin Tarantino Makes a ‘Star Trek’ Movie, It’s Gonna Need a Few Things


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Look, the information is infrequently “regular” anymore. If all of us bought a CNN alert in the course of the night time that militarized guppies had taken over the southern tip of Florida, it in all probability wouldn’t even warrant sitting up in mattress. That mentioned, listening to that Quentin Tarantino has reportedly efficiently pitched a brand new Star Trek film that J.J. Abrams may produce remains to be a record-skip, halt-the-dancefloor second. And but, right here we’re, with Deadline reporting that the 2 are assembling a writers’ room to work out a script for Tarantino’s brainchild, proving as soon as once more that like a teen goth, 2017 won’t ever cease in search of new methods to shock.

However give it a bit little bit of thought, and the collaboration may turn into a stellar thought. Tarantino is aware of from nerd, and he likes to make issues from the 1960s cool yet again. Win-win. Particulars of his pitch or what his Trek story may be are nonetheless below wraps, but when Paramount is de facto going to go all-in on a QT ST there are some things this film is gonna must have.

A Killer Soundtrack

Nobody is saying we’d like surf rock or Okay-Billy’s Tremendous Sounds of the ‘70s in house, however contemplating the soundtrack to the final Star Trek film had the Beastie Boys and a bunch of stuff nobody remembers, it’s time to up the ante. Get Quentin in a room with Giorgio Moroder and see if he can pull some futuristic Ennio Morricone jams out of him. Possibly a bit Spockabilly?

Samuel L. Jackson as Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge

No disrespect to LeVar Burton, I simply actually need to see Sam Jackson in a visor, TBH.

Zoë Bell

The stuntwoman and actress got here to prominence on the hood of a automobile in Tarantino’s Demise Proof. Extra just lately she was Cate Blanchett’s stunt double on Thor: Ragnarok. However when she’s not risking her life for the sake of a film, she’s emanating quietly badass appeal—she’d make a helluva ship captain. She’s been a Tarantino muse for some time now (she additionally confirmed up briefly in The Hateful Eight), it’s time she bought one other high-profile gig. (The identical goes for Bell’s Kill Invoice counterpart Uma Thurman, however she may be busy serving to take down Harvey Weinstein.)

A Large Klingon Battle

OK, perhaps it doesn’t must be Klingon, however Tarantino is thought for doing huge bloody shootouts and whereas setting your phasers to “stun” can maintain issues from escalating—and maintain it PG-13—perhaps it’s time issues bought a bit extra heated, Tarantino fashion. It would not even must be Klingons—when’s the final time a Trek film caught up with the Cardassians?

A Queer Foremost Plot

Hear me out: Gene Roddenberry’s imaginative and prescient was all the time to indicate range with Trek. Not too long ago, this prolonged to the movie-verse when Star Trek Past revealed that Sulu (John Cho) had a male companion, however it was the briefest of scenes. In the meantime, the closest Tarantino has come to LGBTQ illustration in a film is Zed in Pulp Fiction, which is … properly, it is not an amazing look. It’s time he did higher. There’s already a homosexual couple prominently featured in Star Trek: Discovery on CBS All Entry. It’s time.


As a result of, come on. Tribbles. They don’t do or say a lot, however they reproduce quicker than bunnies and in the event that they slowly begin to take over some world or spaceship they could possibly be a major problem. And within the fingers of Tarantino, certainly there could be an epithet for them that may be oft-repeated, sensitivity be damned.

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