It’s time to stick a sock in it


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Virtually half a month gone already. Ridiculous. January is getting away from us. Tomorrow the Australian Open begins. I might need had one thing to say about it, besides I am going off tennis gamers. The primary one I noticed this yr, after I flicked on the TV throughout a warm-up occasion, was complaining. One thing to do with the umpire not permitting him sufficient time between units to alter socks. Or one thing equally petty. Moreover, this man was carrying shorts with a swirly pink sample. I’ve a low stage of tolerance for anybody sporting garments in swirly pink.

Prizemoney at this yr’s Open is up. In fact it’s. When did you final yr of a serious sporting occasion the place prize cash went down? Which implies that our tetchy pal in pink might lose his first match this week and nonetheless stroll away with $75,000. He may discover issues to complain about there too. Tax charges or girls gamers incomes as a lot despite the fact that they’re typically on and off a sizzling court docket in much less time. He ought to stick one in every of his socks in it.

Alan Attwood.

Alan Attwood.

If he loses early on – and I now relatively hope he does – he’ll have time to move residence and attend to the type of issues most of us kind out right now of this yr. Issues like placing up a brand new calendar. Which, at our place, meant eradicating the previous one from a good older noticeboard. As a result of it has extra pin-holes than board, I would vaguely thought of changing it. Till I had a quick, fleeting second of readability. Dangle on, what did we even have on the noticeboard aside from a calendar? Not many notices, to begin with. A telephone quantity for a long-gone neighbour. A timetable for a public pool six summers old-fashioned. Additionally – the clincher – a membership card for the native video retailer. Sure, a video retailer. I would ship that card to the museum for carbon-dating. The calendar now hangs in solitary splendour on a pristine wall.

A brand new calendar suggests a contemporary begin. Getting life so as. Checking out stuff on the desk. Not really doing any work, however rearranging it. Placing issues into appropriately labelled folders. This required a brand new roll of sticky labels. And I discovered simply what I wished on the stationery retailer. With, as an added bonus, a sticker on the facet saying SALE PRICE. Effectively, all of us love beginning a yr with a cut price. Then I obtained residence and found I would really purchased a complete roll of stickers saying – you guessed it – SALE PRICE. Now free to residence. May even change for a pair of tennis socks.

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