“There were certainly times when I wondered whether it might be better off to retire.”
Even when she decided she wanted to return, doubts still lingered for Beams ahead of her comeback games against the Perth Scorchers on the weekend.
“I said to ‘Hempy’ [Stars coach David Hemp] before the weekend that I want to make sure I’m selected [on merit]. I don’t just want to be a certain starter in this team if I can’t do a job and I can’t move the way that I need to move. [I said to him] I’m certainly not going to take it personally if you think I can’t do a job for the team.”
It was soon apparent that there was still some quality cricket left in Beams. After an underwhelming showing against the Scorchers at Casey Fields on Saturday, she took 3-13 against the same opposition on Sunday to help the Stars to a third win in five games.
“I was never going to be 100 per cent. I’m nine months into a 12-month injury. But it’s nice to be back, and also to say to myself that I can keep doing to this. I’m still not playing my best cricket I don’t think, but I hope that’s not far away either.”
Beams has played for her country in all three formats of the game, including as recently as late last year, but with younger spinners like Georgia Wareham having emerged, the veteran acknowledged it was unlikely she would play for Australia again.
Instead she will channel her efforts into ensuring the Stars make the finals for the first time, with their campaign continuing against Brisbane Heat at the Gabba on Wednesday.
“I don’t feel like I’ve got something to prove in that respect. I’m not trying to prove the selectors wrong.
“I feel so blessed to be the captain of the Melbourne Stars.
“I think the ship has sailed [from a national perspective]. They’ve got some wonderful talent in that team. There’d be no reason for them to come back to a player like me. I totally get that, and that’s how the game has evolved. For me it’s just about playing cricket and enjoying the back end [of my career].”