Whether or not or not it’s abuse from a lad, a public spat from a political determine, or the lingering and unintentionally merciless gaze of a relative, exterior forces have performed their best to let me know I’m – inherently, and by some means foolishly – completely different.
However, one yr in the past, the nation opened its arms that little bit extra, allowing a golden sliver of consolation from a lifetime of compounding slights, when it validated the love between queer individuals and enshrined it into legislation after many years of castigation of same-sex love.
Whenever you reside with an expectation of grief, it’s arduous to think about what rest appears like. You might be on the look out for bother.
However within the yr since same-sex marriage legalisation handed, there was an undercurrent of calm that has, in a approach, offered extra of a shock to individuals like me than these years of repetitive heckling.
It’s been sufficient to present me a lot pause: Are we, as homosexual individuals, reaching a time the place we’d see ourselves absolutely accepted? What may that even appear to be?
Some might view the fixed concern of rejection on the premise of sexuality as irrational. However to be able to perceive why this new legislation has introduced a lot reduction, it’s important to look behind you.
I’m 12 years previous. Earlier than my eyes, household; a newlywed couple dancing in ecstasy. The vocal of Alicia Keys’ I Ain’t Bought You crooning within the background. Above our heads, chandeliers, designed as an countless sea of teardrops, illuminating the evening. And someplace within the distance, you would hear the ocean.
That is the picture plastered in my reminiscence, and that which made me at all times need to get married. However for thus lengthy, I couldn’t. Not simply due to the legislation, relatively due to the eyes on me; that lingering disapproving gaze. The questions raised with each flounce or point out of a lover: Is Brandon homosexual?
The very idea that I’d someday, presumably, marry appeared so far-off. But I knew it will be one thing I at all times wished.
Whenever you yearn for one thing as culturally ubiquitous and steadfast as marriage, and all of the consolation and safety it brings, to search out it forbidden by one thing as violent as homophobia is a recipe for a lifetime of inside battle.
This week, although, we rejoice. As a result of these demons have been laid to relaxation, for essentially the most half.
Homosexual individuals nonetheless endure an alarming quantity of homophobia. This yr alone, our new prime minister has hinted by his phrases sort of religious-based discrimination may prevail, together with his disdain for “gender whisperers” and “queer bogeymen in school rooms”.
Some, highly effective “traditionalists” nonetheless exhibit closed minds and arduous hearts.
And whereas trans individuals nonetheless face hatred, we are able to’t ever name our group’s work performed.
These battles will proceed. Thankfully we’ve no scarcity of stoic activists refusing to be silenced.
This week, I pay no thoughts to bigoted or extremist views. I give no thought to the questions wider relations might increase.
I consider my gayness not as a situation, however as a blessing, for the empathy it has afforded me in direction of those that wrestle.
I bear in mind the pearl-shaped chandeliers and the gorgeous melodies on that dance-floor, the bride aflutter and her man in bliss; and I do not forget that this union, due to many years of may and muster from Australia’s marginalised, can someday be mine, too.