However, Harry continued to fight with his stress and anxiety in silence. “Everywhere I go, every single time I meet someone, it’s almost like I’m being drained of this energy. Picking up on other people’s emotion,” he kept in mind. “Finally, I’d bump into someone who was sweating more than me, and I would stop, be able to speak to them and then everything would calm down and then I could move on again.”
After a while, Harry attempted to numb these sensations. “I was willing to drink. I was willing to take drugs. I was willing to try and do the things that made me feel less like I was feeling,” he stated. “But I slowly became aware that, OK, I wasn’t drinking Monday to Friday, but I would probably drink a week’s worth in one day on a Friday or a Saturday night. And I would find myself drinking not because I was enjoying it, but because I was trying to mask something.”
Although, Harry stated he wasn’t mindful he was attempting to protect his inner chaos at the time. It “was my brain telling me that I’m in a fight,” he stated. “I never knew that. Why would I know that?”
