Want to sound more positive? Ditch these 10 expressions that make you look ‘insecure’ and ‘conceited’: Word professionals

We’ve all existed: You desire individuals to believe that you’re positive and capable, however in some way, you end up stating the incorrect things that develop a sense of conceit, which is rooted in insecurity.

As word professionals and hosts of NPR’s acclaimed podcast “You’re Saying It Wrong,” we have actually discovered methods to assist you tread that great line in between looking positive and appearing like you’re conceited and insecure.

Here are 10 expressions to ditch if you wish to sound more fearless and pleasant, according to behavioral professionals and psychologists:

You do not suggest to boast? Then do not. People who established a declaration with this expression instantly signal that they will, yes, boast, which turns listeners off.

Plus, considering that bragging is among the trademarks of conceited habits, you’re not coming off as positive, however simply loaded with yourself.

The circumstance: A colleague discusses something to you, and you respond: “Of course. I already knew that.”

You may believe this reaction makes you sound well-informed, however it in fact sounds dismissive and conceited. An easy “thanks” or “yes” is a much better method to react to somebody’s description.

It’s fine to be sure about things, however do not exaggerate it, particularly if you’re in fact unsure. Research shows that narcissists rarely use words like “maybe,” “guess” or “perhaps.”

Being confident enough to say that you don’t know something can be the best way to initiate trust in your judgment. It also makes others feel empowered to explain things to you. 

This immediately sets up an adversarial conversation: You’re overtly indicating that you’re about to say something that could — and probably will — offend someone.

Sounding like you think you have the authority to critique others won’t win you any friends. To compound matters, it’s also textbook passive-aggressive behavior.

When people hear a lot of “I’s” and “me’s,” there’s a strong chance they might think of you as self-centered or narcissistic. 

Research shows that people feel more positive about other people who use inclusive words like “we” and “our team.” When writing emails or text messages, check to see how many of your sentences start with an “I.” Chances are there are more than you think.

This is a passive-aggressive way of indicating that you think you know better. When you follow up a comment or criticism with a “just kidding” in an attempt to take the sting out of it, you’re not fooling anyone. You’re just insulting the other person.

It’s better to simply not say anything that has to be laughed off in the first place.

This phrase is practically guaranteed to irritate the listener. Again, you’re being dismissive of the other person’s knowledge or capabilities.

If you want to share information, share it without the obnoxious disclaimer.

Maybe you really are surprised that someone can’t do or understand something, and maybe you really do think it’s so easy. But saying it out loud only makes you sound like a know-it-all.

It’s the same with phrases like “You couldn’t figure it out? It’s just common sense!” It’s common sense to not say phrases like this.

Some people use this phrase when they’ve outlined an idea or plan, but their colleague says that it won’t work or that it isn’t great.

Studies show that narcissists rarely admit that their ideas might not be the right thing to do, and this kind of statement could make people suspect you are one.

This is another “I know best” phrase, which can make you come off as arrogant instead of helpful. If you want to give advice, rephrase it to be supportive — rather than judgmental — by asking questions like, “Have you tried …?” or “What about …?

These aren’t phrases, but they are common communication mistakes we’ve seen that can make you look like a conversational narcissist:

Constantly interrupting

It’s rude to cut people off while they’re speaking. Maybe you’re eager to prove you know what they’re talking about; perhaps you think your input is needed and you can’t wait. Well, wait. It’s that simple.

Talking too much in general

Dominating a conversation by talking (and talking and talking) doesn’t make you look like an expert. It makes you look like you’re overly fond of your own voice, views and ideas.

Making everything about you

A colleague mentions that they are feeling burned out, and you immediately start talking about how burned out you feel lately.

Remember: It’s not always about you. Even if you think your empathy or input will win you points, you’re actually undermining yourself.

Kathy and Ross Petras are the brother-and-sister co-authors of the NYT bestseller “You’re Saying it Wrong,” as well as “Awkword Moments″ and “That Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means.” They co-host NPR’s award-winning podcast “You’re Saying It Wrong.” Their newest book, “A History of the World Through Body Parts,” is a quirky history of things you didn’t learn through textbooks. Follow them on Twitter @kandrpetras

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