When people claim ‘equality has gone too far’, it might just be starting to make a difference

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James Damore, who was fired by Google after sending out a lengthy memo blaming biology for gender gaps in tech jobs.

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 Ladies and poor, beleaguered gentlemen, we live in dark times. Because as the old proverb goes, “Y’all don’t know what it’s like, being male, middle class and white”.

The latest victims of the nefarious feminasty agenda are the fractured souls sitting on piles of money in San Francisco’s Silicon Valley. An article in the New York Times outlined the plight of these poor fellows, saddled as they are with the enormous responsibility of dictating our technological futures and being forced to do so alongside women. The article’s title? “Push for Gender Equality in Tech? Some Men Say It’s Gone Too Far”.

Once upon a time, heterosexual white men were afforded a basic level of supremacy in our society. It was a time characterised by great advancements (for men and their bank accounts), the celebration of rich history narratives (about men and their achievements) and the embrace of exciting literature (usually about men and their sexual conquests).

It was a time where people knew what was what. Where people understood that men and women were “different”. That the dubious science of evolutionary biology was to be revered, not dismissed as bunk designed to maintain the structures of patriarchal superiority and male leadership.

Some might argue that this time is still now, and that men’s grip on power is still (thankfully! phew!) intact. But how can you explain the fact a woman stole the presidency from Bernie Sanders and another woman stole the prime ministership from Kevin Rudd and a different woman stole a promotion from that guy you work with who may or may not be you?

That’s right. You can’t. Because the feminists are on the move and if you haven’t seen them pull their hairy legged beast bodies up out of swamp villages all over the country with the blood of men on their minds, then you haven’t been paying attention.

Consider the oppressed men in Silicon Valley. From the safety of a soundproof booth (because he’s frightened someone might hear him – I told you this was serious), 52-year-old James Altizer tells journalist Nellie Bowles: “It’s a witch hunt … when you’re discussing gender issues, it’s almost religious, the response. It’s almost zealotry.”

It’s true that men like Altizer do become evangelical when railing against the supposed oppression of men in male-dominated spaces, but – spoiler! – he isn’t talking about them! He means the minority of women working in tech who daily stare down a culture of sexual and other harassment, misogyny and occasional assault all in service of the bizarre fantasy that they might be capable of coding when everyone knows that’s a biological improbability.

(We know it’s a biological improbability because former Google engineer Jason Damore wrote a 3000-word memo explaining that women are better at handling people and men are better at handling extremely financially lucrative careers.)

Later, we learn that Altizer is part of the MGTOW movement, which stands for Men Going Their Own Way. The interesting thing about MGTOW is that while the men involved definitely like to talk a lot about going their own way, they’re not very good at actually following through. Maybe it’s biological? Men aren’t good at stopping and asking for directions after all, so maybe they just don’t know which way to go.

I can help them with that – it’s wherever women aren’t.

Altizer joined MGTOW after his divorce. The sudden embrace of men’s rights ideology seems to be a common theme among men whose wives have been emancipated from decades of doing their laundry, cooking their meals and telling them how great they are.

It’s a fascinating coincidence and maybe one day someone much smarter than me – a mere woman – will figure out the connection. But anyway, now men like Altizer (whose lives have already been destroyed by the suffocating oppression of women leaving them) are just expected to stay silent while women who remind them of their wives sidle into their workplaces and do identical jobs to them, maybe even for the same salary!

Is there no end to the feminist agenda to destroy all of mankind?

Consider the two former Yahoo employees who last year sued the company for gender discrimination. Their case argued that Yahoo’s female leadership had “gone too far in trying to hire and promote women” in the company, which according to 2015 figures was made up of 62 per cent men, with leadership positions 76 per cent male.  

As their lawyer, Jon Parsons, told NYT, “There was no control over women hiring women”.

Must we sit by as such blatant gender favouritism happens right in front of our eyeballs? Women hiring women! What’s next? Men hiring women? Anarchy ensues!

And of course you can’t put women into any old department. They have to go into the lady departments, otherwise it’s unfair! As Parsons explained: “No eyebrows are going to rise if a woman heads up fashion. But we’re talking about women staffing positions – things like autos – where it cannot be explained other than manipulation.”

Friends, I have sat here for 10,000 hours or maybe even just 10 minutes trying to figure out how to explain the impossible conundrum that is a woman heading up an automotive tech department instead of a virtual wardrobe – and I am just stumped. There’s literally no explanation for it that makes any sense!

I mean, are we even sure that women know what a car is? I asked a bunch of women and they couldn’t give me a clear answer, but that’s mainly because we all immediately started talking about shoes and braiding each other’s hair. It’s a mystery.

What we can say for sure is that men are in trouble. Oh sure, today it’s just men in tech but tomorrow it’ll be men in finance and the day after that it will be men in medicine.

Men, everywhere, forced to work peacefully with women in an equitable environment that values the skills of a diverse range of people.

First they came for the men, and I didn’t speak. Because I was too busy laughing.

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