Kids who do these 12 things have ‘extremely delicate’ brains– why parenting specialists state it’s an ‘benefit’

Without implying to, moms and dads can have a method of making kids feel as if something is incorrect with them.

As parenting scientists, we have actually seen this occur frequently with extremely delicate kids. Many moms and dads see level of sensitivity as a bad characteristic– that it makes us look overloaded, passive, or perhaps weak– and prevent it with expressions like “Stop crying!” or “Shake it off!”

But psychologists and neuroscientists have actually discovered that, in the ideal environment, kids with extremely delicate brains have uncommon benefits.

Not just do extremely delicate kids reveal more creativity, awareness and openness than less-sensitive kids, but they possess an underappreciated trait: empathy.

In one study, researchers had participants looked at photos of people either smiling or looking sad. They found that sensitive people’s brains showed the highest level of empathic response.

Their brains also lit up more in areas related to action planning. This indicates that — just as sensitive people frequently self-report — they could not watch a stranger in pain without feeling a strong desire to help.

And since sensitive kids are more affected by their experiences than their peers, they get more out of support, training, and encouragement. This boost effect makes them high achievers.

Here are the most common signs of highly sensitive kids:

1. They notice subtle details, such as a teacher’s new outfit or when furniture has been moved.
2. Other people’s moods really affects them. They easily absorb emotions from others, taking on their feelings as if they were their own.
3. They have a hard time shaking intense emotions like anger or worry.
4. They complain when things feel off (e.g., scratchy bedsheets, itchy clothing labels, tight waistbands).
5. They feel stressed and fatigued in loud, busy environments, like gyms or perfume counters because of the strong odors.
6. They hate feeling rushed and prefer to do things more carefully.
7. They respond better to gentle correction rather than to harsh discipline.
8. They make insightful comments and seem wise for their age.
9. They have a clever sense of humor.
10. They read people well and can infer, with surprising accuracy, what they are thinking or feeling.
11. They refuse to eat certain foods because of the smells or textures.
12. They startle easily at sudden noises, like when someone sneaks up on them.

If any of these observations resonate, remember that it’s a positive thing. Highly sensitive kids have an entirely different approach to their environment, and that is a strength.

1. Set expectations ahead of time.

Sensitive kids need time to think things through, and setting expectations gives them a choice: They know what will happen if they meet those expectations, and they know there will be consequences if they don’t.

It can be as simple as saying, “Today we’re visiting grandma in the nursing home. We’ll need to use inside voices and calm bodies because some people there don’t feel well.”

2. Practice gentle discipline.

Because sensitive kids feel things acutely, their feelings become more easily hurt, and they can take correction personally.

So rather than putting them in time-out, create a calm-down spot with comfort items (e.g., stuffed animals, a weighted blanket) where they can go if they have trouble regulating their emotions.

After the discipline, give them positive affirmations and reassure them of how much you love them.

3. Be their emotional coach.

As a parent, you’re already teaching your kids emotional regulation skills every day by modeling how you handle your emotions, whether it’s work stress or your child’s meltdowns.

The more intentional you can be about this, the better the example you set.

4. Advocate for them.

Talk about your kid’s sensitivity with their teachers at the start of the school year, before any potential conflicts or misperceptions come up.

And when your child uses their sensitivity (e.g., applying their imagination, showing empathy for a friend going through a tough time), tell them how proud you are of them.

5. Get curious about their world.

Set aside time to talk and play with them one-on-one, separate from their siblings.

Ask open-ended questions. For example, “What was hard for you today?” will create more room for conversation than, “Did you have a bad day?”

Try to understand what your child experiences in their body and through their five senses. Their answers might surprise you.

Jenn Granneman is the co-founder of Sensitive Refuge and co-author of “Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World.” She has been featured in The New York Times, Washington Post and BBC. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram

Andre Sólo is the co-author of “Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World.” His work has actually been included in Psychology Today, Quartz, Washington Post, Vogue, MSNBC and The Telegraph.

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