With Zulay it was 7 weeks in, simply a couple of months after she and Kevin chose the coronavirus pandemic, and the subsequent shutdown of their shared market, in fact supplied the best time to begin developing their household. “I was like, ‘Okay, everything’s shut down. Studios are down. Agencies are down. This is our time,” she described. “As you can see, it wasn’t the way that we planned it.”
Instead, as she handled the physical discomfort of her loss (“You don’t have a miscarriage one day and it just goes away, even physically. You’re in this thing for a long time where your body has to heal”) the inner chaos practically ruined her. “You feel ashamed, you feel like, ‘Wow, my body couldn’t do it,'” shared the If Loving You is Wrong starlet.
“I remember just thinking to myself of every reason, just really microanalyzing everything I did and everything I didn’t do,” she continued. “Like to the point of, ‘I drove home too late that night and drove over that pothole.'”
She even blamed her household for letting her leave her mother’s home that night. “There’s just so much emptiness and shame and anger that you have toward yourself,” she described. “I was angry toward my doctor. I just lashed out at everyone for a little bit, including my own family. Like, ‘Why did you guys let me do that?'”
