After the TRL look, Mariah was “hunted” by the press, “ferociously,” she composes. Already a distressed sleeper all her life, she stopped sleeping completely and was hardly consuming. As the label continued to push her to shoot the video for “Never Too Far,” she was simply frantically looking for some rest. “I simply couldn’t do it,” she composes. “I had been working for years without a break. It was totally out of the norm for me not to show up, but I really didn’t have anything left.” After monitoring into a hotel, she was found by her management, who were dealing with Pat and Morgan. She returned with them to Pat’s house, which Mariah had actually purchased, to try to rest, up until Pat disrupted her once again with issues from the label. It was here that Mariah reached her snapping point. “That night, I did not ‘have a breakdown,'” she composes. “I was broken down—by the very individuals who were expected to keep me entire.”
As Mariah unloaded her anger on her mom, Pat called the authorities on her child. “When my mother feels scared, her complete assurance in the historic evidence that whiteness will always be protected activates,” Mariah composes. “At various times, she’d called the cops on my brother, my sister, and even my sister’s children…And so, that night in Westchester, she called the cops on me too.” Mariah asked the authorities to take her to what she believed was a day spa, however upon awakening the next day, she discovered she could not sign herself out. “It took several days of red tape and paperwork to get out,” she composes. The paparazzi were waiting when she went back to her mom’s. After taking a trip to L.A. at Morgan’s wish, where she discovered herself in a “hard-core detox and rehab center” he’d scheduled her, in spite of the reality she wasn’t utilizing drugs, she went back to New York City in the wake of 9/11 and went into treatment. It was then that she found a name for the physical disease she had actually been experiencing as an outcome of the psychological discomfort in her life (somatization) and found out to reframe her relationships with her household. Morgan ended up being “my ex-brother,” Allison “my ex-sister” and her mommy simply “Pat.” She no longer has any contact with her brother or sisters.
